AAAW provided the second largest group attending the Korean Adoptee Gathering 2004 in Seoul this summer. We were part of over 400 participants from 15 countries, including adult adoptees living in Korea (although they are currently living in Korea, they all grew up in various countries – but for the Gathering, they were identified as being from Korea). The Gathering showed us that it doesn’t matter where we grow up, we have more similarities than differences with those that grew up in other countries. When looking at pictures of the adoptees at the Gathering, you can’t tell what country any of us grew up in – only when we speak can you tell that we aren’t all from the US. They are much more “like us” than not, and it was amazing to experience the global community of adult adoptees. It was so interesting to see the makeup of the various age groups, and the effects of adoption history, impacted by adoptees of mixed race, the ages of the adoptees, those with disabilities, and the home countries of the adoptees. Experiences were openly shared with other adoptees, which pointed out one key element of the Adoptee Gathering 2004 – the sense that we can share our experiences more readily with other adoptees than we can with our parents or with other Asian Americans (or Europeans) who may have grown up in our home countries.

I am lucky in that I have a great relationship with my parents – but there are many feelings that I have about being adopted, or adoption in general, that I won’t discuss with them, or at least I don’t any more, out of respect for their feelings. Once we become adults, part of the maturity process is being responsible for ourselves, and making our own decisions, instead of worrying about how others feel about us, or having others tell us how we should feel about ourselves. But while many adoptees have had positive experiences, others did not. Many adoptees want to search for birth family, but many others do not. Many adoptees can’t wait to go back to visit Korea, others have absolutely no interest. Many adoptees embrace the nationality of their birth, but many others only feel American, or European. Parents, adoption agencies and foreign nationals can’t fully “understand” how an adoptee feels, although many want to express their opinions, or say they “know” us because of their interaction with adoptees. I now feel more strongly than ever, especially after the Gathering, that it is up to the adult adoptees themselves to take a leadership role in educating each other, and the teens coming along behind us, on the various issues that are important to adoptees - we know ourselves best. Planning for the Gathering showed me that there is a very large number of adoptees (thousands) that don’t trust adoptive parents, adoption agencies or those organizations that say they’re helping adoptees (with funding, conferences, cultural exposure, etc.).

But it’s not good enough to just “be” an adoptee and think we know what adoptees want. We at AAAW have been spending time interacting with our members and with other adoptee groups, both in the US and abroad, to exchange ideas and find commonalities that will allow us to come together to discuss, educate and lead the next group of adoptees. This coming year we expect to reduce the number of social activities (from 9 to maybe 5 or 6), but hope to have a 2-day symposium this summer on a variety of topics that we have heard people ask for. We expect to invite adoptee speakers and panelists from Korea, Europe and the US to help provide information that we hope will be beneficial to the continued growth of our members, both mentally and emotionally. So if you have some suggestions or ideas for us, please let us know what you’re interested in!